If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
