I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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