dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
