I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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