If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
