so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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