ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
