dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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