she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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