doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
