i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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