3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
