I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize