alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
