Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
