Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
