Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
