So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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