I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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