girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
