He kissed a someone with a penis
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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