did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize