I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
