dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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