So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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