What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
