you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize