careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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