her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
