so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
