Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
