I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
