so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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