That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is wine microwaveable?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm getting married
To pizza
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
