I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How external is "for external use only"?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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