i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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