I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
