it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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