There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
