her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
