she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
