I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
