um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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