Need sex. Gaining weight.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
