i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
