just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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