everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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