We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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