I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
