Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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