Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Screwed.edu
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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