Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
As shirtless as possible
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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