White coat. Heels.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
