so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
