My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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