You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
