and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
