i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
